To God the Father

Eve After Falling Into Sin, Johann Koler, 1883

Love, again you have found me in the call of birds, the sound of wind thrumming in my ears.

I know that all the world was meant to be green in this way, that lushness was to overwhelm and sedate us into the dreamlike torpor of Adam.

Fill us with a potency. Make us leap from out ourselves towards you, nearer by death-and-life-giving.

Here in the barren land we wait for lushness, for fervent murmur of running waters, for the full welling of slow rivers.

Break us for our yolk.

Keep us till we sleep our fathers' sleep and give out the new full self.

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked

Caravaggio, "The Conversion of St. Paul"

There is something very hopeful about the life of a man who sins with enthusiasm.  Unlike many people we encounter today, the enthusiastic sinner does not settle for being content.  Rather he is always finding something else to do, seeking another zing to thrill him, until his heart is stuffed with whatever he desires.  

Herein lies the difference between a headstrong, confident sinner and a typical post-modern man suffering from contentedness (we’ll call him Mr. Smith): the said sinner recognizes he needs more, whereas Mr. Smith believes he has found peace and happiness in being content with his mock-paradise he set up in his gated community.  Ask Mr. Smith if he’s happy and at peace, and he will undoubtedly say “yes” without giving it much thought.  Take his earthly paradise away, however, and you won’t get a yes out of Mr. Smith any more.  Unfortunately, there are too many Mr. Smiths in our world.  We would be better off with more headstrong sinners.

Let me explain.

I think the problem with Mr. Smith is his understanding of what it means to be content.  Understandably, people strive for contentedness because they get it confused with happiness and peace.  In reality, contentedness is more akin to lukewarmness, something that Christ adamantly condemns (see Revelations 3:16).  Even the words “peace and happiness” have a connotation today that is very different from the “peace and happiness” that we should be striving towards.  Peace goes beyond the mere absence of wars or other physical evils, and being happy isn’t measured by how much pleasure one can obtain.

The Greeks had a word for this happiness and peace; they called it “eudaimonia.”  While this word is often translated as “happiness,” it is perhaps better understood as fulfillment, specifically in regards to one’s soul.  When man acts according to virtue (that is to say, when his will is under the direction of his intellect), he obtains true happiness, and nothing can disturb him.  Socrates hit the proverbial nail on the head when he said, “no evil can happen to a just man, neither in life nor after death.” 

Seen here: Socrates at peace before his unjust death.

I think the headstrong sinner alluded to earlier understands this concept of eudaimonia better than Mr. Smith, for the consistent seeking and sinning of the sinner stands as a testament to the fact that fulfillment is not obtained through the material world.  His seeking and devouring affirms Augustine’s philosophy of the human person - our hearts are indeed restless.  The irony for the sinner, of course, is that the human heart will never find fulfillment until it rests in God.  Thus in heavy sinning does this man continue to search, yet he will only find disappointment everywhere he turns until he comes to face the disturbing truth - nothing on earth can put to rest his restless heart.  Nothing.  If he’s a reasonable fellow, he will then appeal to the spiritual realm in order to to find the next zing.  Consider it a process of elimination, and consider the hope for the sinner fulfilled.

If you’re still not convinced of the hope that lies within the most headstrong of sinners, consider the war that the sinner declares against God.  If you asked him if he is a wicked person, he would laugh and probably say, “yes, I am wicked and I’m on my way to Hell,” recognizing that his murdering and conniving ways are indeed immoral.  Ask the same question to Mr. Smith and he would most likely take offense and respond, “of course not!” (even though he is a liar in the workplace and lusts after his neighbor’s wife).  While Mr. Smith is indifferent towards God, this isn’t the case for our treacherous sinner.  No.  The great sinner sees the Creator’s presence as an annoying, blinding light that must be eliminated if he wishes to continue down his path of sin.  Of course the sinner’s quest is destined to end in defeat, for God is not known for losing battles.  He reigns as the Eternal Victor.

Perhaps it is necessary that I add a disclaimer: I am not advocating a festival of sin.  What I am advocating is that you get off the fence - the fence that separates you living according to God’s statutes from spitting in His face.  Choose, for goodness sake, something, anything, making a stand one way or another.  I do not believe I need to tell you what the correct choice is, but I feel it appropriate to tell you that not choosing is the surest way to your own destruction.  Moving towards something is better than not moving at all.

The Importance of Death

Woody Allen and Death

Recently, I watched a documentary on Woody Allen. He is quite an interesting character. If you do not know much about his life and work, go look him up. I had seen a film or two written and directed by Woody Allen and I had heard talk of his thoughtfulness and intelligence, but until I took the time to view the documentary, I had not understood the depth in his work. One of the subjects that struck me was Woody Allen’s appreciation for death.

His explanation for why he turned from being a sweet infant and toddler, to a sarcastic and slightly mean boy is that he learned of death; he realized that he was not going to live forever and the happy world around him would become irrelevant. He decided that the way one lives his life is largely determined by how he responds to the reality of death – to what degree is an individual creating an illusory world that allows him to ignore the fact of his own death? Woody Allen responded with irony.

Woody Allen’s ironic stance towards the world allows him to be funny; because he can lampoon those things that most other people take seriously, but know they are silly for doing so. That same ironic stance also allows Woody Allen to be a serious thinker and to understand and express the depths of meaningful human relationships.

The ironic approach towards life that Woody Allen takes on, because of his view of death, gives him a form of detachment. He accomplishes a sort of secular detachment, as opposed to detachment motivated by religious beliefs.  Although Woody Allen is not the ideal role model in many ways, this essential bit of an interesting man offers food for thought.

Anyone familiar with the Benedictine religious order will know that an important piece of guidance offered in St. Benedict’s Rule is to “keep death always before your eyes.” This maxim is appropriate for any Christian attempting to walk the straight and narrow. Woody Allen had it right – we all must face the reality of death, and we all must respond in some way. For a Christian, death is a reminder of the life after death, which in turn encourages detachment from earthly things.

Detachment, however, is not the end, for one still must live out his time on earth. Similar to Woody Allen’s growth from a simply satirical young man to one who is a serious thinker, with interest in the complexities of human life and relationships, Christians must mature from an initial experience of detachment to a posture of detachment that appreciates the good, the true, and the beautiful so marvelously found in human experience on earth.

Death is important. Death keeps things in perspective. Death helps bring new life. In our culture that hates and hides death, yet actively promotes and produces death, we not only must labor to respond well to death as an idea, but also work to strengthen our courage and the courage of others in facing the reality of a culture obsessed with death.